Ah yes, yet another Eminem fan has Emailed me proving how fuckin' stupid these people are! Just read that shit! Here's a faggot with no taste... and still likes Eminem even though he just found out that he was gay. I've posted his email and some other comments in the Hate Mail section also. A few new Email addys have also been added to the "Shit List". Check 'em out... here's my response to that Email:

"Ha ha! Thanks for the amusing Email. It never ceases to amaze me how stupid the typical Eminem fan is. Well, I've posted how stupid you are on my website for all to see. And to answer your questions... Everyone in this "UP" you're talking about has no originality, no creativity, loyalty, life... etc... ANYTHING. They're a bunch of sell-out wannabees just like you. That's why you know so many of them. Eminem's an inspiration to some upcoming rappers cuz most of the upcoming rappers suck ass! Have you ever watched MTV lately? Ever see the SHIT that's out there? Oh wait, you like Eminem, you probably like that shit. And your last comment doesn't even need a response... it just goes to show how gay you and he both are. Thanks for entertaining the world with your stupidity. Now go jump off a bridge so I don't have to pay your welfare. DJ Jake"

This website is finally emerging from its infant stage, and now requires massive updates... Don't worry, the graphics will remain much the same. But with new images constantly being submitted, my hosting space is quite limited, and now must be relocated, with each HTML document re-scripted so it'll all link together again properly. Besides all that, all the pages will be re-updated with new info, just like "Who's Slim Anus" and Who Made This Site have been modified today. Those sections go more in depth than they used to, not to mention them being a lot more comprehensible. And that's the general updating that will be happening over this month. I think as the Holiday break approaches, I'll have a day to get the whole sha-bang running. So if something doesn't work right now, then you know why.

Also, many new Pictures have been put up in that section. I have many animations and even an Eminem-shooting game that will be on this site eventually. The section of "Other Disses" will be undergoing massive changes, so be prepared for it to not work, and the new shit not to be online for a while. Just keep checking back cuz It'll eventually be done. MCL, DJ Jake

It's amazing how many stupid D12 and Eminem fans there are out there. Then they send me an e-mail and I get their address to post for the whole Eminem-haytin' community to view. That's the "Shit List". A Juggalo e-mailed me today saying a few things about a Feminem fan that he knows... dunno if it's true... you decide.

Whut up Ninja? Feminem's lil' brother just moved to my old hometown. This kid is a lil' bitch - he sports D12 shit and fuckin' acts hard. Well this lil' fucker has gotten 3 of my boys, all Juggalos, suspended from school cuz he'll start shit and then run to the office and tell, so I got the lil' bitches cell phone number! His name is Nathan Mathers, and he goes to Romeo High. He now lives in Washington MI, in the Enclave Apartments across from the Glacier Club Golf Course. He's been fuckin' wit my ex and her friends, so post this bitches number up so Juggalos can call him and tell him we don't fuck around. The number is (586) 453-3268. Thanks Ninja, your fuckin' site kicks ass! Juggalo Family for life! MCL, JuGgAlO J

So if that's all true & shit get on some phone and bug the fucker. If it ain't true, then tell me and I probably won't do anything about it. I mean... you have to prove it ain't true. So Juggalo J, there's your hook up. Anyway... the "Shit List" is updated with a few new fucks (at the bottom) so go ahead and do your nasty shit to them.

Ok, if NOTHING on this site convinces you that Eminem fans are a bunch of pussy ass faggots, then head over to fuckeminem.com, where some true-ass faggots tell how they wanna fuck Eminem. That's right! Websites are being made that are devoted to the quest of having gay sex with Eminem! How fuckin' wrong is that shit? But it's so typical of all the Eminem fans out there. Eminem is gay, so all of his followers wanna bone the butthole too. So if you're an Eminem fan, then all your fantasies will come true if you head over to that website. Hell, you might meet some other Eminem Fan-ggots and have some kind of gay cyber orgy, so get the fuck off my site!

Oh yeah! I got a hilarious hate mail from some "A. R." freek. Every other word he said was misspelled, and he couldn't hold a train of thought for more than 1 sentence. It was humorous! Hate mail doesn't bother me, cuz the more you bitch about my shit, the bigger I'll become. It's the silent ones that don't amount to shit. Even if 99% of the fuckin' world hates me, there's still a flip side to that where I got some true down-4-life fans ready to back me up. It's like bin Laden, everyone and their fuckin' mom hate's that bitch, but he's got some loyal supporters despite all the haytin'. Ok... bad example. But you get the point... I'd rather have devoted fans to the DKlan Bruthas than the pussy-ass faggots that Eminem's got followin' him. That's why ICP kicks so much ass; us Juggalos are down for life. Eminem fans are down for a good buttfuck, and then they'll move onto the next faggot star. So bring the haytin' on muthafakos!

There's not a chance that Supah Snickahz and I could get together this Thanksgiving break and write and perform Killing Spree all in one day... but with the whole Xmas break, it is possible. So the Killing Spree EP release has been indefinitely postponed. But recognize! The CD is NOT canceled... it's just coming out later than you thought it was. No more December 15th. But I'm not setting another date for it. I'll come out when it comes. Just like DieKill... December 2002 was a nice goal to work for, but you never know, so DieKill will come out when it comes out. So yeah that's all bad news & shit, but Snickahz agreed it was the right thing to do. But in trade for postponing it, I'll tell you something more about it. Here's the track listing of the EP:

1) Killing Spree (w/Supah Snickahz)
2) I Cream
3) Bitch Nuts
4) Intermission
5) That's What They're For
6) The Really Slim Penis
7) I Deserve Better

That just about covers it. No progress on "I Cream" yet... and obviously none on "Killing Spree". But I will be appearing in Albuquerque soon, so I'll have a face to face talk with Supah Snickahz about that shiznit.

Finally. See... that past week it was all about Midterms, so I was stayin' up 34 hour days just to get Friday's projects done. But now it's the weekend. Time to catch up with my sites! So here's the news... The sections of "Old News", "Updates", "Upcoming Projects", Buy Stuff, Songs, "Lyrics", Albums, Appearances, and Websites have all been updated with somethin' new. So check all of those out. Most of the updated stuff concerns "I Deserve Better" or the upcoming EP, "Killing Spree". Speaking of "I Deserve Better"... I now have a short sample for you all to check out while you're waiting for Mp3.com to host it. If you click here (If there's a link), then you can download a little sample of the song to listen to. As you can see, it's ass kickin'. But yo, if you're Phat Knutz or Wepeel or Supah Snickahz, don't listen to it cuz I wanna be there when I present the new goods to you. If you wanna know what "I Deserve Better" is all about... It's about the women that I've had, and women that want me now, and how I deserve better than them. The first part goes into details of my first two relationships, and the 2nd and 3rd parts go off on 2 girls that like me, but I really can't stand them. All in all, it's another true DJ Jake song followin' the same style as usual. I don't know if it's my favorite... but it is my favorite for how the lyrics flow so naturally.

So on to the next order of business, the coming of EP "Killing Spree". This is the album that marks the just-about halfway point to the completion of DieKill. Now that "IDB" is done, it's time to work on a new song called, "I Cream". This is gonna be a really really short song, but good. It's exclusively for the EP Killing Spree, and won't appear on DieKill. This will be a good song to bump from your car on a hot summer day... ha ha ha! You gotta hear it to understand what I'm talking about. I estimate I'll have the song done by November... uh... 17th. Or somethin'. Then, and meanwhile, I'll put together the instrumental of the song "Killing Spree" so Supah Snickahz and I can work on it when I'm back in Albuquerque from the 21st to the 24th. Then in an act of desperation, I'll cram the completion of Killing Spree down my ass so it can be released on time December 15th.

And of course, this site was mad updated. I put the EP of Killing Spree in the Albums section, cuz it's not really a single. Other Projects now has more information about Billy Gupton's report card. Tours now gives specific dates of when I'll be in Albuquerque for Thanksgiving, and Xmas. And FINALLY, all the songs listed in the Lyrics section have been typed out and uploaded to this site. So you can finally understand what the crap I'm saying in my songs. And what Phat Knutz is saying in "That's What They're For". Ha ha... sorry Knutz... I'm not being mean, you did do a good job... there's stuff on all of ICP's albums that we still don't know what they're saying, so take it as a good sign. S'come Up! Alright, also Buy Stuff now has the single of "Trespassing" listed for you to buy from Mp3.com. I don't sell it, so don't ask to buy it from me. You have to buy it from Mp3.com. And lastly Old News and Updates have been updated cuz the month of October has passed. So check it all out... November and December will be big months in DJ Jake events.

An assortment of Eminem disses have been added to SlimAnus.com. The categories of "Old News", "Song Lyrics", Pictures, Links, and "Other Disses" have all been updated. There's some stuff on www.jugganaut.com that you should check out at some point cuz that guy hates Eminem with a passion as well. There 3 new pictures in the gallery, check them out and laugh. 3 new song lyrics are posted, along with the Old School version of "The Really Slim Penis", which is my Eminem diss song. I've had the new lyrics posted, but never got around to writing down the old school shit. So now you can figure out what the fuck I'm spittin' in the first one. The "Other" category contains some new comments by various people. Jugganaut.com has an analysis of Eminem and his interview. More proof that Eminem is a fuckin' faggot. And he is! Eminem ain't nuttin' but a bitch! He's always saying things just to say them! He's not serious about anything! He says he hates fags... but then he's all, "Oh, well, I'm just saying that in fun." What a fuck! Well this Juggalo here with the name of DJ Jake ain't kiddin' around, I don't give a fuck! I hate fags! The thought of 2 guys doin' it is fuckin' sick and wrong! Now... 2 girls, that's another story. 2 girls together make's dick get harder. HA HA. Fuck it. I'm going to bed. MCL, DJ Jake

Happy Hallowicked everyone! I had 8 hours of school today. But the day still kicked ass. I carved a pumpkin too. And I taped a bunch of candy to my door so trick or treators could have somethin' even though I wasn't here. I had a big sign that welcomed real trick or treators but at the end it said, "If all the candy is gone, some heartless person stole all the candy. If you are that heartless person, please consider leaving some for the real trick or treators." Apparently that worked cuz there was still some left when I got back. Yo so anyways... I really wish I coulda been at the Hallowicked show, but I'd miss too much class of this quarter and they'd flunk my ass. Well anyway, I played "I Deserve Better" for a few people today and they liked it quite a bit. The song is primarily about the girls I've had & how I deserve better, and also about the girls who like me, that I don't like back. Beeeeeoooooocccchhhh! All in all it's the best rap-flowing song I've created so far. So once Mp3.com gets off their asses and puts it on their site, you can listen to it. Alright that's it for now. Have fun tonight beeeeoch!

Whup Eminem haytaz? As you've probably noticed there's a lot of songs in the "Other Songs" category that diss Eminem, but where it says "Lyrics" there's a big "N/A". So what I would like all of you to do (if you got the time) is listen to each song, word for word and type it all down and send it in to me so I can post that shiznit. I could listen and do that, but I'm too busy for that shit. So I need your help... and when you do submit the lyrics, I'll be sure to give credit to you for sendin' them in. So head over to Other Songs, and tell me what the lyrics are so you can get some propz.

Nothin' much else is going on... it's been a slow week in the land of Eminem Haytin'. Slow like Eminem's thought process. New song lyrics are up from Dark Lotus Wolf. Thanks. Alright... well Juggalos, I'm sorry to announce, but I can't make the Hallowicked show. That would be one too many Wednesday nights I'd miss from this quarter of school... and I'd be dropped from the class. I already missed too many from the recent Hatchet Rising Tours, and will miss more towards Thanksgiving. So I'm screwed in just shittin' around on Halloween. But yo, if you're a true Juggalo readin' this... Those of you who are going to the show... if you hook me up with the free single or somethin' they pass out from the show, then I'll post a link to your website and/or email address from this site in the Links section. That's right... I'll hook you up if you hook me up. Just e-mail me after the show if you got somethin' for me. MCL

I was just lookin' around for something to do and then I saw the logo of "Fuddruckers"... you know, that one burger place. But anyways, I figured it wouldn't be hard to change that into "Fudgepackers", and make an Eminem diss out of it, so that's what I did today. But then of course I got all caught up in the dissin' shit, so I updated this site all kinds today. But the above logo is was started the motivation. I think that shit's just damn hilarious. Eminem's Gayest Butt Burgers! Damn sick what Eminem's into these days. So anyway... I was gonna post like 4 new lyrics in the "Song Lyrics" section today, but the page that had 3 of them disappeared last night cuz the bitch took her site offline. But there is still one new diss there. Elsewhere... there's some new pictures in the obvious Pictures section. Check 'em out... damn that section is gettin' big. A new interview has been added from "Wack Jack". You'll hear how Eminem admits that his dad used to rape his ass. That interview is in the "Other Disses" section. Also over there is a new animation from Newgrounds.com. It's nothing special, and damn annoying, but Eminem does get bitch-slapped. Also 2 new songs were added to the Other Songs section (the bottom 2 songs). One's an amateur diss, and the other is a professional-sounding Dr. Dre diss. 'Sright. No one gets away with fuckin' with The Family. Lastly, I'd like to thank www.denverjuggalos.com for lettin' me post their "Piss On Eminem" sticker in the Buy Stuff section of this site. You can buy it from them for 3 bucks. That concludes all the updating... meaning all that you people have sent me, I've posted. And if you sent me something and it didn't get posted... it probably wasn't anything worth posting. Which reminds me... when you submit song lyrics to me... PLEASE use the FUCKING SPELL CHECK!!! Ha Ha Ha... MCL, DJ Jake

This happened back on the 9th of this month. ICP was at a hair salon gettin' styled & signing shit, when this NAU student and cock suck boy named Matthew Wedemeyer came in to get his nut hairs trimmed for his boyfriend later that night. Matthew noticed that ICP was in there and said to them, "Are you ICP?" ICP already knew that this little bitch fuck wasn't down with the clown, so they said, "No." Then the Eminem fan said, "Good, cuz they suck." And then imitating what Eminem would have done, Matthew walked out because he was scared shitless when ICP stood up & got up in his face. ICP followed the bitch boy out of the store, and threw Matthew to the ground. Violent J then jumped up and down on the bitches face. Of course, Richard (Dick) Sira, Matthew's gay partner, called the pigs when he saw his lover's dick-suckin' lips all smashed up. Violent J was arrested along with one of the Psychopathic Records security guards, but they were let out soon after that for the show in Phoenix that following night. (Which I saw and it rocked fuckin' ass!). As for Matthew, he's gonna have to lay off the dick for a few days while his face grows back like Eminem's with bleached blonde pussy whiskers.

I was actually in Flagstaff that night of the 9th, but I was in Phoenix when this must've happened. Phat Knuts & Wepeel were in Flagstaff at the time, but they didn't see any of this. But it just goes to show that you other NAU students should watch out cuz you got some mad faggots attending college over there. And if any of you know Matthew then keep beating the shit out of him. Thanks. So anyways... this website was updated with a few small things... a picture and some lyrics. But that was about it. I got more to add, but I'll take it one day at a time so keep checking back. MCL Juggalos.

I have seen it. Twice. This news segment doesn't really have anything to do with that butt sniffer Eminem, but I'm DJ Jake and I can post whatever the fuck I want on my websites. On the 9th I was at the Hatchet Rising Tour in Phoenix, Arizona at the Web Theatre. The show rocked so many balls! It was the show in Albuquerque, New Mexico that wasn't all that great. But I did get to see the silhouette of the 6th Joker's Card twice. I even made a fresh picture of what I saw which looks probably 90% accurate to what it's shape really is... but I'm not gonna post it cuz I want you Juggalos to wait for the surprise. Like I did. It's better that way. I just wanna know what bird that is... a crow? Whatever it is, the 6th looks freakin' awesome! So anyways, Albuquerque Juggalos weren't showin' much love, a lot of 'em were just asshalos. In Phoenix everyone was like family. And we were wet with Faygo before the show even started! But in Albuquerque, it was just this big ass line of waiting people. No chants. No titties. No faygo. No fun. Now don't get me wrong, there were some true Juggalos in Albuquerque, but a lot of 'em must've been Juggalo-Eminem hybrids. Both shows kicked mad ass though. Shaggy came out in a cowboy costume in Phoenix, and in Albuquerque, he was dressed up like a chicken. Of course I caught some Faygos and added to my collection. They were throwin' Diet Faygo Cola in Phoenix... somethin' like Root Beer in Albuquerque... that really made my Superballs shirt browner than shit. So that was that. But the Dark Lotus stage kicked some ass, and they played my favorite song from DL - Bitch I'm Sexy. But it was ridiculous - no Juggalettes showed their titties at the Albuquerque show. I saw somethin' like 4 pairs in Phoenix. Oh well. Guess that's all I gotta say about these two events. MCL Juggalos, DJ Jake

All kinds of disses have been added today. 4 new songs appear in the Other Songs section, including an Eminem diss done by Miilkbone. Some new lyrics have been added. There are a few new animations in the "Other Disses" section; the best is the diss called "Shock Value Vs. Eminem", a good Flash animation you need to check out. Also in that Other section, 5 Howard Stern ICP interviews have been added. ICP tells the truth about Eminem pullin' unloaded guns on people, and also makes fun of all Feminem fans. About 10 new Eminem diss pictures have been added to the Pictures section. Thanks to www.faygoluvers.net for a lot of those. Let's see what else... some comments also added in the "Other Disses" section. But that about covers it. Odd that I haven't had to add anyone to the "Shit List" in a while. Guess Eminem fans are finally gettin' the hint that they can't fuck with Juggalos. Actually, probably not. Eminem fans aren't smart worth a shit, that's why they like Eminem... they don't know any better. I also had somethin' else to mention. I got a few E-Mails sayin' that ICP's song "My Homie Baby Mama" contains an Eminem diss. But it doesn't. They say the lyrics are "I'm attracted to the Hayley drama," but it's actually, "I'm attracted to the helly drama." ICP's not rappin' about fuckin' Eminem's illegitimate kid. But that doesn't stop me from sayin' Eminem's probably fuckin' her ass pretending it's Dre. Moving on... I updated this site a whole lot so I don't have to deal with it for a few days cuz I'll be attending the Dark Lotus shows in Phoenix & Albuquerque. See you Juggalos there!

And now it is time to give you more information that you've ever wanted to know about DJ Jake. Right now I'm sitting in "The Computer Room" as it has come to be known, in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Somethin' like 2AM, but I'm always gettin' shiznit done at this hour. I come up with my most creative DK crap in the middle of the night. I got a lot to say tonight, so I'll probably forget half of it and then post it tomorrow. Let's start with why I'm not in Phoenix... My college is year-round, so this is our fall break. And it ain't shit cuz it's one week long. Just back to visit family & friends. Luckily Southwest found my luggage finally after they lost it for 12 hours. Morons... must be a bunch of Eminem fans workin' for Southwest. So now I'm here and been chillin' with Phat Knutz and Wepeel.

Alright here's a bomb for ya. I had a thought to do a side-project becides DieKill with forming a new group with Phat Knutz and Wepeel. I proposed the idea to them last night, and they each had different reactions. Phat seemed to be down with what I had in mind, and Wepeel didn't see all that interested. Now as for the details of the group and what we'll do I'm keeping confidential until our first song is released. We don't even have a name for the group yet. And it's not even confirmed that Wepeel will be a part of it cuz it seems he's not all that interested. But that's ok with me if he doesn't want to. Phat Knutz is a bigger Juggalo by far anyways. I do have a name for the band in mind, but it's not confirmed, so let's just call us "SJB". So there's a bomb... a NEW group with DJ Jake in it that you know absolutely nothing about! But you will know more when the time is right. It's coming.

So whatever happened to Killing Spree? Good question... Well first off working that pointless bullshit job 32 hours a week and full-time school don't add up to much productivity. This next and last quarter of the year will be 100% DK priority. Meaning I will do school 100% half-assed if it means getting a song done on time. It means I'll walk up to my manager and twist her titties so she'll give me all the time off I demand. It means I'll drink 40 cans of Dr. Pepper if I gotta pull an all-nighter to finish an instrumental. It means I will sacrifice all that I have for the completion of Killing Spree by December 15th, 2001. DieKill is coming, and it's time I got on track. No more of that pussy whipped biznitch shiznit. I will be on the ball!

This last quarter was supposed to have seen the instrumental of Killing Spree completed. Well that obviously didn't happen. I'm sure Supah Snickahz is a bit disappointed. Well probably pissed to be more accurate. But hey, I do come back to Albuquerque one more time for Thanksgiving before the single is due, so we can record the lyrics then. And if I don't have the instrumental done by then, then I'll cut my left testicle off and play with it at Putt-Putt. Come 2002 the world will hear the presence of DJ Jake, and it's time I put DK priorities above the trivial worldly bullshit. And even if Psychopathic Records doesn't want me, I'll still be spinnin' the wicked Juggalo-inspired shiznit on Buttlick Records or whoever signs me.

So what now... did I forget anything? Probably, but all the important stuff is listed I think. Of course this website isn't exactly 100% operational, which is something I'm trying to correct over the course of the next few days. BUT... Appearances and DKlan and Pictures are now working at 100% capacity. Except in Pictures I haven't put all the pictures in yet... there's just a few temporary ones to hold place. And in Tours you will see that I will be attending the Hatchet Rising Tour in both Phoenix, AZ, and Albuquerque, NM. October 9th and 10th, so that's coming up soon. Phat Knutz is goin' with me. It's gonna be 10 kinds of awesomeness. Check the Tours section for what I have to say about 'em.

In other news, of course SlimAnus.com is always being updated and expanded. I get E-mails everyday concerning the site. The good thing is I get more fan mail than hate mail, but I only laugh at all the hate mail anyway cuz Eminem fans are so stupid you can't help but laugh. So the health of SlimAnus.com is far up there, while this site has been suffering cuz I'm payin' all my attention to the other one. The fun one. But this one's necessary if you wanna know about the pre-famous DJ Jake. So that about raps it up. Time for me to upload this news and hit the sack.

I usually get a good amount of hate mail and just laugh at all of 'em, but this one was just fuckin' hilarious! What kind of fuckin' idiot is this? And I quote:

I'm a big fan of eminem, but i'm also gay, so your site is really offencive to me. Just because i want to fuck him in the ass doesn't mean you have the right to make fun of us!

Don't believe me? Click Here to go to the section where I've posted the exact E-Mail! This just has to be the funniest hate mail I've ever received, and I wanted everybody to see it. And of course I didn't block out the E-Mail address. I want all of you to see what kind of pussy ass fans Eminem has. The hayta's E-Mail is GODOFGUTTIN@aol.com, so sign him up for all kinds of spam shit. Don't sign him up for gay porn though cuz I'm sure he'd like that. What I don't understand is how he can be a faggot and not be offended by Feminem makin' fun of faggots. But of course we all know that Eminem does that because he's unsure of his own sexuality so he has to diss fags to make it look like he's 100% straight. So I guess this fan really does have a chance to fuck Eminem in the ass! At the end of his E-Mail I just hope he meant to say, "You better hope I don't catch you on the street because I will fuck you up," instead of "You better hope I don't catch you on the street because I will fuck you." And what the fuck is this Gay Power shit? Gay Power??? Alright! The horde of homosexuals is coming to fuck my ass! What a fuckin' idiot. Eminem fans are so fuckin' stupid.

Geeze! It's days like this that just make ya think. Today's the day that my country was attacked by terrorists. I'm all... why am I writing songs about dissin' my fellow americans when we got these terrorist acts going on? But hey, that's probably just the shock of today talking... I'm sure once it settles in I'll still hate Feminem with a passion, but I'll also hate that Bin Dover & Haden in da ass guy (Osama Bin Laden). See, I actually do have a conscience unlike some of them heartless Eminem fans sending me hate mail for this site on a day like this. How can you do that? I mean come on! OUR country was attacked! Show some heart your stupid bastards! Juggalos understand this. ICP's website even had news about this encouraging people to hope & pray for the victims & what not. Eminem's site doesn't have shiznit. But this Eminem fan, with e-mail address "Klownkilla2k1@cs.com", wouldn't stop sendin' me hate mail the whole day. What a fuckin' biggot! Give it up for today you fuck! Show some fuckin' sympathy for our country today, hate me tomorrow!

Hey guess what? Phat Knutz has informed me that I was indirectly on the news back in Albuquerque again on Channel 4. My guess is a certain something I sent to Billy Gupton a few months ago made it into the hands of the police... and they're all "on the lookout" now. Ha Ha Ha! OR it could be Mr. RedNeck Fatballs, cuz they said it was "vulgar", so his... status may have been revealed. But if you know anything about me, then you can hit up that link, and search for the 1 word most associated with my real name, and you'll find what I'm talking about. But anyways, yeah... Phat Knutz has changed the spelling of his name from the old "Phat Knots". Personally I like either one. Knutz is such an awesome homie of mine, if I'm ever phat paid for writing music, you'll see us chillin' just hangin' out all the time on tours & stuff. Who knows what's happening with Wepeel, last I heard he was bangin' that one bitch I hate again. SAKURA? Geeze I ain't seen him in like 9 months... shit. Why did I have to move away from home out here where life has to be all busy & isolated??? But I should see Supah Snickahz soon and we should be working on "Killing Spree".

It is here! This is the first official DJ Jake review of all time by Supah Snickahz. Remember that valedictorian from the best high school in Albuquerque? Well here's what he's got to say about my shit!

"Bitch Nuts"  By Supah Snickahz

"Let it be known across the world. There is another. Joining the ranks among the pioneers of shock rap is a new face. Following in the path of masterful pioneers Insane Clown Posse, Twiztid, and in his own way, Eminem. Let them shout his name over the hills, "DJ Jake." This new face in the music scene has caused such a commotion in the underground rap music scene that it's easy to miss one blatant fact: he's white. Not only is he white but also all of his music up to this point has been created on a single computer. No massive production teams, no professional studios charging $85 an hour. Its just one man, a few instruments, and a computer.

Now that I have satisfactorily set the scene concerning the creation of the music, it's now time to focus on the music itself. DJ Jake, in all of his music, has mastered rhythm and rhyme and combined the two in a manner rarely seen today. DJ Jake's ability to rhyme, in specific, is magnificent. One could compare his skills to Eminem. In fact, many people do, until they've heard DJ Jake's remake of Eminem's "The Real Slim Shady," creatively titled "The Really Slim Penis." In this fitting remix, DJ Jake rewords and insults Eminem amazingly, and in the process removes all doubt of Jake's own superiority.

DJ Jake's sophomore effort, "That's What They're For", weaves a hateful yet amusingly accurate portrayal of the purpose of women. The song emerges from his experiences with his two previous girlfriends, Jake recently revealed in an interview. One must wonder how stupid these girls must have been to piss him off. Regardless, the tales of the girl's hypocrisy and promiscuousness are masterfully woven with a strong bassline, drum lines, and amusing samples. DJ Jake outdoes his self lyrically with the most complex rhyme cycles yet. This song manages to demean women, breed misogyny, and greatly amuse all at once. The "Hillbilly Bitch Mix" must be heard to comprehend its humor.

DJ Jake's third outing, "Intermission," is the culmination of his musical talent. The musical line, piano-esque beats combined with his now signature basslines, is both catchy and complex. One is not human if you do not feel compelled to sway or stamp your feet to the beat. Sampling his own voice in ways not before done, DJ Jake creates a subtle layer beneath the main line that is extraordinarily amusing. Temporarily setting aside his hatred and rage, Jake creates a refreshing message-less song to create a schism between the two paradigms on his premiere album "DieKill." Speaking of an intermission, excuse me while I go take a piss.

The climax of his rage so far emerges in his latest production, "Bitch Nuts." This song is dedicated, directed, and pointed at an individual from Jake's high school years, Billy Gupton. If such an individual has lived before more despised than he, let him speak now or forever hold his peace. In the song itself, there is very little treble or high-pitched sounds. A driving bassline pushes along Jake's caustic, painfully accurate lyrics. Jake again establishes his master of voice sampling as he not-so-subtly points out Billy's homosexuality in amusing notes that hide behind the main lyrics and then culminate near the end to an onslaught of homosexual moaning. One can hardly help but pity the small-penised Billy. In the chorus, Jake revives the hillbilly guitar twang to again raise the bar in music talent. The only flaw present in the song is the side insult to Bob Saget. Was not America's Funniest Videos punishment enough?

DJ Jake is slowly starting to become a household name. Receiving mad props from one Juggalo website, this praise is just a prequel that he receive as he makes his way into the quasi-mainstream. One thing is for sure: we won't be seeing "That's What They're For" on MTV's piece of crap show TRL. In the words of ICP, inspiration to DJ Jake, they can keep their "shitty radio hoezz." But as DJ Jake continues his rise into musical stardom, people are forced with a single choice: get in line and follow, or get run over by Jake's vicious rhythm and rhyme."